Just few more days before I resign at TGV,kinda miss it actually~~ And I already made up my mind and decided to confess to her on next Monday~~~Whether the result is bad or good,I'll keep on moving~~~Anyway,I already predicted the outcome,mostly kena rejected but I still wanna tell her!!! Cuz after I confess,my heart will be better,at least I knew the answer!! Haha
Well,how to say ler....actually this is the first time face to face I confess to a gal,dunno how to say actually~~~~Any ideas??Now still thinking!!! Cuz whenever I see her,I suddenly can't say anything,maybe I don't have guts.....Anyway,Monday will be the day,the day that I knew the answer and the outcome~~~~ Hahaha,embrace myself cuz Monday is my day!!!! I will tell her that "I love her"!!! Yes,I must do it!!!
P/S : Before monday,I gonna face Friday,which is my exam result coming out(most probably),this is another things I sked off,my lecturer say it's gonna send to my home!!! Well, Really dunno how to open the letter when I see it,maybe I'll ask her open when I see her,haha!!Anyway,jana...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Stress Stress Stress!!!!!
Another post again hahaha!!! Just for me to read only,actually this blog is like a diary to me,cause no one will see it,hehe!!! I admit that sometimes I like loneliness,no one can disturb you but this feeling kinda dull because deep within my heart,I feel so lonely~~~
Anyway,next week my result will be coming out~~~Well,what my feeling now?? Nervous??? Stress?? Scared??? Hahaha,what I can is "ALL I HAVE IS MIX FEELING" ,every feeling also got~~Not just the result also,thinking that I'll be leaving TGV in 31st of August make me feel sad some more because I can't c her anymore~~~ Why does the fate want me to meet her??? Why??? Why I fall her??? I really can't answer this question~~~It's all fate~~~ Result gonna coming out soon but yet I still "fan" this kind of things~~~ Love and result really drive me mad this month!!!!! GOD!!!! What Can I do now??? I really hope that I can get through but well the fate will decide it~~~ Who knows?? Gods knows and the examiner knows~~haha!!!
When thinking I gonna leave TGV,I really miss her a lot~~~ what to do~~Life goes on and on~~ I can't ruin my life because of her,I knew that she doesn't in love with me,the situation already showing it to me but I keep deny it~~haha,DENIAL IS THE BIGGEST WEAKNESS OF HUMAN!!!! What to do?? All I can do is try to build the relationship with me n her,and when I back that time,hopefully she will think highly of me than anyone else~~~ I plan to ask her out on September for a movie but I think the chances she will out with me 0% ,maybe I should ask 1st,if she don't want also nothing what,What a big deal??? No loss also,just a bit disappointed ........Wait,got my feeling is lost~~haha!!!
Until here then~~~Jana
Anyway,next week my result will be coming out~~~Well,what my feeling now?? Nervous??? Stress?? Scared??? Hahaha,what I can is "ALL I HAVE IS MIX FEELING" ,every feeling also got~~Not just the result also,thinking that I'll be leaving TGV in 31st of August make me feel sad some more because I can't c her anymore~~~ Why does the fate want me to meet her??? Why??? Why I fall her??? I really can't answer this question~~~It's all fate~~~ Result gonna coming out soon but yet I still "fan" this kind of things~~~ Love and result really drive me mad this month!!!!! GOD!!!! What Can I do now??? I really hope that I can get through but well the fate will decide it~~~ Who knows?? Gods knows and the examiner knows~~haha!!!
When thinking I gonna leave TGV,I really miss her a lot~~~ what to do~~Life goes on and on~~ I can't ruin my life because of her,I knew that she doesn't in love with me,the situation already showing it to me but I keep deny it~~haha,DENIAL IS THE BIGGEST WEAKNESS OF HUMAN!!!! What to do?? All I can do is try to build the relationship with me n her,and when I back that time,hopefully she will think highly of me than anyone else~~~ I plan to ask her out on September for a movie but I think the chances she will out with me 0% ,maybe I should ask 1st,if she don't want also nothing what,What a big deal??? No loss also,just a bit disappointed ........Wait,got my feeling is lost~~haha!!!
Until here then~~~Jana
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Love
Well well, I'm back again to write my feeling nows,feeling sleepy but can't sleep because of thinking too much~~~~ How to say,I think my feeling towards that TGV girl becoming deep and deep already but yet I must control myself because I don't know what she thinks actually~~~Aih,really hope got people listening to my feelings right now~~~~ Just now,me and her just watched a movie(of cos not just we 2 la,still got other frens) ,how to say I noticed that she wearing the necklace I buy for her during my trip to Penang......
Well,is this a good start??? Or maybe she had feeling towards to me after all?? I can't confirm that cause I dunno what she thinking actually~~~Maybe,she wear it for fun only??? Or maybe I thinking too much?? So many question appearing on my minds and the saddest is I dunno the answer of all question~~~~ Feel like I'm so stupid~~~What is love??? God please tell me ler!!!! Don't play me anymore,I need an answers!!!!
I only work 2 more weeks at TGV and can only see her for few times only,there is a bit sad feeling whenever I thinks that I can't see her again,my feelings towards her grow everyday,maybe this is what we called love??? Aih.....damn confuse right now~~~Should I confess to her though I knew the answer is rather sad..............or maybe vice versa??? Hahaha...but I'm going to study at KL or work at Singapore...how??? LDR really is a tough relationship for me...maybe I think too much~~~ Well,maybe I see her happy,then can liao~~~
Or after I stop working I confess to her?? Just tell her my feeling towards her and didn't hope for anything!!! I think this 1 is much better,at least I can get the answer better than suffering here~~~
Lastly,I really want to say " I love you,PK" but hahaha,guess no one will see it~~~Just write my feeling here only!!!
Well,is this a good start??? Or maybe she had feeling towards to me after all?? I can't confirm that cause I dunno what she thinking actually~~~Maybe,she wear it for fun only??? Or maybe I thinking too much?? So many question appearing on my minds and the saddest is I dunno the answer of all question~~~~ Feel like I'm so stupid~~~What is love??? God please tell me ler!!!! Don't play me anymore,I need an answers!!!!
I only work 2 more weeks at TGV and can only see her for few times only,there is a bit sad feeling whenever I thinks that I can't see her again,my feelings towards her grow everyday,maybe this is what we called love??? Aih.....damn confuse right now~~~Should I confess to her though I knew the answer is rather sad..............or maybe vice versa??? Hahaha...but I'm going to study at KL or work at Singapore...how??? LDR really is a tough relationship for me...maybe I think too much~~~ Well,maybe I see her happy,then can liao~~~
Or after I stop working I confess to her?? Just tell her my feeling towards her and didn't hope for anything!!! I think this 1 is much better,at least I can get the answer better than suffering here~~~
Lastly,I really want to say " I love you,PK" but hahaha,guess no one will see it~~~Just write my feeling here only!!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Confusion - Part 2
Well well,the second part of my story I guess!!! I think I will not confess to her yet ler...since there is a lot of things that I need to think now!!! First come first,my result~~~~Well,actually I dunno what I scared of,I'm prepared for the worst case scenario but .......my heart still bumping so heart when I hear from my classmate that result will coming out this week~~~~I dunno why,maybe this is natural for people who are waiting their result......But I wish that the result will be out end of August,at least I got some time to get prepared....this week I really can't accept it............and when I think of the worst case scenario,I already decided that I will not chase that TGV gal anymore because I will go Singapore to work......
What's for I chase her when I going to Singapore,I really don't want to suffer because of the LDR!!! Better hide my feelings and prepare for departure to Singapore if my result really GG!!! But,dunno why I can't let go the feeling,everytime when i see her,I quite nervous and dunno what to chat about~~~Hahaha~~maybe this is what we called love,and yet I think she just thinks me as a friend and nothing else cause we barely know each other.....
Good also,at least I can see her happy and enjoying her life,eventhough I can't be with her,I will bless her and wishes her last forever if she found a guy that suits her~~~~~Maybe when you all read this,you all think I'm silly and idiot because dun have the courage to confess....but I would said that I will not start a LDR because it's against my principle!!!! That's I choose to let go....or maybe building the road 1st,hahaha!!! Who knows maybe in future when I back here I met her again~~~~Well,future is future and I will only decide in the future that what action should I pursue if I met her again!!!!
What's for I chase her when I going to Singapore,I really don't want to suffer because of the LDR!!! Better hide my feelings and prepare for departure to Singapore if my result really GG!!! But,dunno why I can't let go the feeling,everytime when i see her,I quite nervous and dunno what to chat about~~~Hahaha~~maybe this is what we called love,and yet I think she just thinks me as a friend and nothing else cause we barely know each other.....
Good also,at least I can see her happy and enjoying her life,eventhough I can't be with her,I will bless her and wishes her last forever if she found a guy that suits her~~~~~Maybe when you all read this,you all think I'm silly and idiot because dun have the courage to confess....but I would said that I will not start a LDR because it's against my principle!!!! That's I choose to let go....or maybe building the road 1st,hahaha!!! Who knows maybe in future when I back here I met her again~~~~Well,future is future and I will only decide in the future that what action should I pursue if I met her again!!!!
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